Be a Sport, Afghanistan!

Let me have a word with you! You're a sporting kind o' man, Captain of the Olympic team Here in Afghanistan. And you don't wanna go to Moscow: Wonderful! Let me commend your zeal! But still I hope, you won't lose sight Of the pure Olympic ideal. Be a sport, Afghanistan, Be a sport! Not everyone can be a winner, Some fall short. So you might not win a medal, So you feel a little flat, So you lost a little freedom, Hell, we all have days like that. Don't be a drag, Afghanistan, Don't be a drag! We'll help you sew a/our couple stitches In your flag. As you march around the stadium To musical strains, be sure To waive the "locolandrum" And the rest of the brains Or you know, they'll never listen To the clanking/clinking of your chains. So be a sport, Afghanistan, Be a sport! Don't be rude, Afghanistan, Now don't be rude! Politics in the Olympics Don't intrude. The Olympiad is holy, We observe the niceties, We're above the petty squabbles, You could ask the Taiwanese. Try to smile, Afghanistan, Try to smile! Show the world a little sportsmanship And style! Just because you've been invaded, Is no reason to lose heart. Just because you're in a war, You didn't want and didn't start, Still remember that you have the joy Of simply taking part! So be a sport, Afghanistan, Be a sport! The committee's full of sporting chaps, That comes as no surprise. And we've already ordered our blazers And some (g)ripping Olympic ties. So it's too late to call the games off, That would never ever do And the hopeful eyes of the sporting world Are firmly fixed on you. Rise and shine, Afghanistan, Rise and shine! Help us whip those other nations Into line! They'll believe you, if you tell 'em That the boycott isn't fair, Even running for your lives at home. Hell, why not do it there? Show some class, Afghanistan, Show some class! Just because the Russians Saw some greener grass. Just because you lost some freedom, It's not sporting to complain. Still you got an invitation And we're happy to explain That the Russians have agreed That they will take you there by train. So be a sport, Afghanistan, Be a sport! You'll be runnin' around Siberia, When you run. Be a sport, Afghanistan, Be a sport!