Hallelujah, dads and mommies,
Cowboys, rebels, Yanks and Commies!
Buy yourselves some real red-blooded fun!
If you want to make the grade,
You've got to have a hand grenade
And a fully automatic G.I. Gun.
Buy a gun for your son right away, Sir!
Shake his hand like a man and let him play, Sir!
Let his little mind expand, place a weapon in his hand,
For the skills he learns today will some day pay, Sir!
Pound that kid into submission,
'Till he's mastered nuclear fission!
Buy him plastic warheads by the score!
Once he's got the taste of blood,
He's gonna sneak up on his buddies
Starting his own thermo-nuclear war.
Oh, buy a gun...
Buy him khakis and fatigues
And sign him up in little leagues
And give him calisthenics as a rule!
Once you've banished fear and dread,
Then pat his seven-year-old head
And send him off to military school!
Oh, buy a gun...
Once he's grown to be a man,
He might get tired of blasting Granny,
Then you'll see a crisis coming on.
Don't get worried, don't get nervous!
Send that kid into the service!
Let him rise into the Pentagon!
At the Pentagon he'll rise,
The President he will advise,
His reputation growing all the while.
With your picture on the wall
He'll get that long-awaited call
And press the firing button with a smile.
So buy a gun...